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Helping Children Cope With War
It seems that every time we turn on the television these days, we are bombarded with news of war, weapons of mass destruction, and threats of terrorism. These are unsettling days for adults, but they are perhaps even more worrisome for children. How can you help your child cope with these images of danger?
Listen to your kids. Don’t assume you know what their questions will be. You may feel a need to explain everything to them, but they may only want to know if they’re safe when they go to bed at night. Don’t give them more than they can handle; follow their lead by asking what they think about the questions they’re asking.
Give them plenty of opportunities to express themselves. Some children may not want to talk or ask questions. They may share their feelings better by playing a game or drawing a picture. Be aware of these opportunities and notice what they do. If your child draws a picture of someone getting hurt or a scary scene, you can ask questions about the picture to initiate a dialogue with the child.
Be honest. Although you don’t necessarily have to tell your child everything you know, you do need to be honest with your answers. Children usually can tell when someone is trying to pull the wool over their eyes.
Teach by example. If your child sees that you are upset, he or she will likely become upset as well. The younger the child, the more this is true. Show your child that the best way to face our fears is to handle them calmly and rationally.
Limit your media exposure. Limit what your children watch, and avoid exposing them to the most graphic news reports. Younger children might need to avoid the news altogether while older children can watch certain programs with adult supervision. When watching a news story with your child, be sure to explain calmly what you are seeing and allow your child to ask questions. Make sure that you reassure your child of his or her safety. Don’t have the television on at supper; use that time to connect with your child and to build his or her sense of security. Children need that all the time but especially now.
Stick to your routine. Children find comfort and security in the routine aspects of everyday life. Try to avoid making any major changes to your child’s day.
Special cases. If your child shows signs of excessive anger or violence, you may consider seeking professional advice.
